A young friend of mine called and asked my advice: “My dad gave me this job, now he isn’t letting me do it. Did that ever happen to you?” Well, it happened to me and probably to about 14 million other sons of bosses. Yet, my friend felt like he was all alone. He felt like his situation was unique, maybe that it was his fault. But he did exactly the right thing, he checked with someone else who might have had the same problem.

The perfect advice for you, no matter what problem you are facing, is free. You just have to ask the right person. The more connections you have with other family businesses the better your chance of getting that advice. Use the box on the next page to help you create a list of connections you probably already have. If you can’t think of many, pull out your high school yearbook and look for old acquaintances. If they are in a family business near you, you’ll have a double bond with them — a shared alma mater and a family firm.

I love to make new friendships by discussing family business with anyone in family business. It is amazing how much you will learn about them in a hurry. And the friendships created through discussion of family business will improve as you find yourselves helping each other. “How is your leadership transition going?” and similar questions open the door for great conversations.

No matter how long or short your list is, make a point of communicating with some of them. If you want to become connected, if you want to spread your safety net, you need to be active. All it takes is changing from drab small talk to real conversations about family in business. 

A great place to look for advice, solace or friendship is from someone in a business like yours who is not a competitor. For example, while our business specializes in the production of watermelon seed, the Christiansons specialized in spinach seed. For two generations we’ve met them at conventions and discussed questions like: “What percent of sales are you spending on advertising these days?” “What are you doing for seed business specific software?” “Are you close to financing your retirement?” “Let’s compare the progress of some mutual customers.” These are discussions that you don’t want to have with a direct competitor, but would like to have with someone very much like yourself.

Ken Christianson is one of my best pals in the industry. He is a great person to talk to because his business was more complex. His business was bigger, at a size where we hope to be in a few years. He was third generation while I am in the second generation. His family was larger and his ownership was more complex than ours. We’re the same age, and I’ve always gained valuable insights from him.

Sometimes I want to talk to older persons. They can be very powerful allies and sources of advice. Our strongest supplier-customer bonds are with family firms that we have known for generations. “You don’t have to give me the hard sell, Larry, I’ll always buy from Hollar because your dad gave my father credit when no one else would.” “Son, meet Larry, his father sold seed to your grandfather, you can trust Hollar Seeds, and they are a family business.” Expressions of loyalty like that cannot be purchased with advertising money. Introductions like that have made our work a great pleasure. Elder family members in companies like that are great people to talk to about your problems.

Khalil Miqdadi, founder of Agricultural Materials Company (AMC), visited us in Rocky Ford. “I hope that you and my sons will be friends, just as your father and I have been.” Mr. Miqdadi’s words meant a great deal to me as a 27-year-old pup, it was an honor to meet him. Over the past 25 years his sons and I have met in Boston and Los Angeles, in Athens and Seville, in Odessa and Chisinau. Their children have met my children, and my dream is that they will all have even better friendships. On a recent trip an AMC employee said “The AMC-Hollar relationship seems to be more about friendship than business.” It might appear that way, but really we are juggling business and friendship.

Our longest relationship is with the Trevino family of Mexico. This family has seen a series of four men named Isidoro. My father sold seed to the first two, the negotiations were always tough. I love them, but these men were tighter than rawhide on the top of a drum. While they were friendly, they had adversarial relationships. Once I started selling to the third Isidoro, things started to be much friendlier. We became such good friends that when he died suddenly, Isidoro IV called me the same day. Two months later I met with the family to discuss their new situation and the future of our business together. We all feel that we are members of each other’s families.

Now the Trevinos and I are working together as true partners and our complete faith in each other allows us to make deals without worrying about who will benefit the most. Instead of each
 of us trying to get a bigger slice of the pie, we work together to make the pie bigger.

back to intro page >>

SeedQuest does not necessarily endorse the factual analyses and opinions
presented on this Forum, nor can it verify their validity.